School Changes

I've been asked several times why I stopped homeschooling, so here it is.

November was a difficult month for us this year. Lots of things came to a head, we were in the middle of remodeling and moving, I was beyond spent. Unfortunately that made it impossible for me to keep up with homeschooling. I began thinking about our options. We couldn't afford private school. Alex is on the list for a couple of charter schools, but that wasn't yet an option. I didn't feel a peace about putting him in one of the larger public schools. I kept wishing for some kind of a small school we could put him in that was free, but I didn't know of one. We kept plugging away at our schoolwork at home, little by little, at least trying to complete one subject a day. But the expectations of our supervising teacher were always haunting me. And I knew that Alex was not thriving in the midst of our family's stress.

Then I saw that my brother and his wife had chosen to pull my nephew out of his private school and put him at a small country school just a few miles from us. I had never thought of that before we moved because it felt too far away! One of my best friends growing up went to that school and I remember my 6th grade class competing against them back in the day. I didn't even research it much for myself, I just went on my brother's word and signed Alex up. He started right after the Thanksgiving break. The school has a great reputation and about 2/3 of the students are transfers from other districts. There are only 270 students K-8, which feels much less overwhelming to me than some of the other options we had.

Alex is a very adaptable, easy-going kid, so that has helped him succeed through our many transitions. He changed schools in the middle of kindergarten when we moved to Hawaii, then switched to homeschooling after one day of 2nd grade in Kohala. We homeschooled through 2nd grade and almost half of 3rd grade when we moved into our new home. Buying a house settled the question in my mind as to where we would be living next. Would we be moving again? Continuing to homeschool meant that at least Alex's schooling would be consistent if we did move. Since it now looks like we'll be planting in this area for a season of our lives at least, I felt better about putting Alex in school. And I just plain needed the break.

So that's the background on why we made such a sudden change. I was too busy back in November to have time to be sad about it. Now that I'm unpacking boxes and finding our homeschool books, I do miss homeschooling. And I miss the little network of friends that comes naturally with being a homeschooler. Granted, I do not miss the battle that we were beginning to have daily when Alex wanted to play with his brother or with Legos rather than hit the books. We traded that battle for the homework battle, which I am still trying to figure out. Besides the homework, Alex is enjoying his new school and quickly made friends as he always seems to do. I think I did what was necessary at the time and we'll re-assess at the end of the 3rd grade. We'll then have the option to put him at a charter school (as he'll have moved to the top of the waiting list) and may even have the chance to attend another charter school if his name is drawn in the lottery. Aaron's name is also in the pot to attend that school for kindergarten. We'll see what happens! Maybe he'll just stay put for a while.

The one time I have had a chance to get into Alex's classroom (to see a play and attend a class party), I was trying to decide how I felt about the school. I still don't know. It's okay. His teacher doesn't seem to be the warm sort of elementary school teacher I'm accustomed to, but she's nice enough. I'm sure that adding a student in the middle of the year isn't her favorite thing. I am not a fan of the instituionalized, mass-produced education system. But we're giving it a try. Aaron really misses having Alex at home, but is learning to play more with his sister who is much closer in age. So we're all adjusting and figuring out how we feel about this change in our home. I have to say that my least favorite aspect of him being in school is that I have to go pick him up at 2:30. That's a big interruption in the middle of naptime, which used to be my most productive time of the day. No more. It is nice to know that Alex is doing regular boy things like playing kickball at recess. He's happy, I'm getting a break from the responsibility of being his teacher, and we'll see how the rest sorts itself out over the course of this next semester.

Birthing Bliss

As October came to an end and November rolled around, I already knew it would be a doozy of a month.  In fact I told Peter, "I'm totally okay with you knocking me out and waking me up when November is over." With Peter's album release and our home remodel and holidays and moving and lots of other events on the calendar, there's just no way around it.  It's a crazy time for us.

Today the stress level was through the roof and so I loaded the kids up in the car and drove out to our new home.  I love it out there.  The drive alone is enough to soothe my frayed nerves.  While the kids jumped on their new trampoline in the backyard, I checked out the progress in the house.  For the quick minute I was able to endure breathing inside of that fume-filled box, I could see that the texture was done and the place already looks completely different.  Then my eyes started burning and my throat was closing up, so I joined the kids in the fresh air and sunshine.  I don't know how Peter and our texture-painter guy can stand being in there all day! Wow.  Peter sat outside with me for a few minutes and I had my much-needed venting session.  

I caught Alyma's cold.  I'm tired.  I'm stressed.  I miss you.  The kids miss you.  I'm constantly torn between trying to keep my head above water at home and letting the water cover my head for just a bit while I sneak in some work on painting our cabinets.  Oh, the cabinets.  That job that feels bigger and more overwhelming by the hour.  And I have a field trip in the morning and plans in the evening and a garage sale the next morning and more plans that night.  I think I'm losing my mind.  Mark keeps texting me desperate for some cash.  How much responsibility do we take for our almost-20-year-old's decisions? Do we bail him out or let him feel the consequences a little longer? Are we even able to bail him out? Oh, and homeschool.  Yeah, that.  I think we'll be doing school through the summer to catch up this year.  Which is fine, but I don't like feeling behind.  I'm just so tired.  And I really, really just want to be done with this move and enjoy living in our new home.  It's so peaceful here.  Do you think we can really pull off hosting Thanksgiving? I don't know if we can do it.  Everything feels so crazy right now.  Twenty more days of this month.  And then I'm off to Hawaii.  But am I? It seems like it's not working out right now.  The cost to fly out of Redding is more than the points we have saved up.  And the flight times from other cities are rough.  Oh, to be in Hawaii.  Right.  Now.    

I painted a couple of drawers and called it a day.  Time for naps back at the house.  I laid down with Aaron and gave myself permission to rest for a while.  And I realized I've had this feeling before.  Three times, actually.  Wait, I've changed my mind! I decided I actually don't want to do this.  What, you mean there's no going back? But I can't do this! I'm telling you, I really can't! It's too hard.  I can't take it anymore.  This is much more difficult than I ever anticipated.  I give up! And then that final push comes and, in a moment, I realize that it was all worth it.  It's called transition and it's no fun.  It's intense and exhausting and painful and takes everything within me and then some I didn't know I had.  But what comes after that is pure bliss.  And I imagine "blissful" is exactly what it will feel like when we are settled in our new home, ready for the next season.

If the number 11 represents transition like everyone says, then November is holding true to its number.  Tomorrow is 11-11-11 and Peter's album will be available on iTunes.  And that's it.  We're done with that project.  Thank you's and albums have been sent to the appropriate people and now we're enjoying giving albums away, laughing when our painter tells us his teenage daughter would like to meet the man behind the music. 

It's just another transition in our lives, one of many, a finished chapter in our book, a new beginning.  Lord, help me finish this chapter well.