This Present Rawness

It's a lot easier for me to be "raw" about the past than it is about the present, I'm finding.  But I'll give it a shot.

While trying to maintain a measure of discretion here, I just want to say that things are a bit rough at our house right now.  Peter isn't doing very well.  Our new house isn't ready to move into.  Our current home is a mess and I've barely begun to pack.  I think "ransacked" describes it pretty well.  After frantically preparing for a garage sale and pulling out a bunch of stuff, then getting the flu and not having time to put everything away, then my husband being up at night for 4-5 nights in a row, and the kids then spreading around the house what we had pulled out previously...it's a recipe for the disaster before me.  I can't really ask for help, either, because I have to figure out where all this stuff goes and start putting a lot of it in boxes.  Oh, and our landlord decided tomorrow was a great time for them to bring a prospective tenant to tour the home.  Awesome.  I let them know it was a really bad time for us, but if you refer to paragraph 19 of our rental agreement, you will see for yourself that no heart is required in these decisions...only the letter of the law.  Hey, I warned them.

So I cancelled my Hawaii trip.  I cancelled our housewarming party.  I cancelled Thanksgiving at our house for 20-some-odd family members.  I went to the Columbia District Office to see about getting an inter-district transfer (since we're one house away from the district line) so Alex can go to a small country school his cousin will be going to a few miles from our new home.  I wish I could afford to put Aaron in preschool, but then again I would miss him too much and kindergarten isn't that far off.  Anyway, I'm just trying to simplify what I can, shedding the extras and holding onto what's more important and possible right now.

I won't lie, this is no fun.  But it could be worse and it has been.  Much worse.  I'll be pretending I know what I'm doing with med management until Peter's doctor is back from vacation on Monday.  And we'll go from there.  One day at a time.  We can only do what we can do and we can't plan these things, so I keep trusting God to see us through these trials and remind myself that this will pass soon.